Halloween Horror Movie Reviews

I forgot to tell you guys: I am reviewing (well, trying to) 31 horror flicks for October over to Rated-B. Of course, I've had a few setbacks, but I can still feasibly pull this thing off, and I'm going to do my best to do exactly that, so if you dig horror flicks, please check it out.

This link is for all the Reviews on the site, but the first 31 will be the horror movies. Unless you read this months after Halloween, in which case, you're on your own! (Still working on that pesky navigation thing...)

© C Harris Lynn, 2010

More on Lost Tapes - Animal Planet

Animal Planet's Lost Tapes

I intend to go into more depth on the new Animal Planet series, Lost Tapes, but having just been introduced to the new show last night, I'm reserving my comments for one, very good, reason: It's not real.

The disclaimer at the opening of the show proclaims: "The following is story inspired by the possibility that hidden creatures may exist." However, the entire premise of the show is that we are seeing actual, "lost" tapes of such.  One episode even claimed the tapes featured in the episode were later found by aborigines right outside their village... 

Further, Animal Planet intersperses the "lost" footage with actual footage (that is, footage collected by cryptozoologists which is purported to be, at the very least, not hoaxed material -- insofar as expert analysis can tell), and actual lore, zoological facts, and other, credible, science.  As they launched tonight's episodes with two, pretty good, stories focused on the more scientific approaches to both Champ and Bigfoot (episodes which originally appeared on other Discovery Network channels), it even further occluded the series' fictional basis.

I instantly began searching for the names of the people who were featured and, as others noted on the boards [discussions removed - ed.], it was to no avail -- because they never existed.  While I realized much of the footage was "reenactment" stuff featuring actors, the question remains as to whether or not any of these stories are actually based on real events. 

I feel certain that, if ever a game warden named Rachel H. Glen actually captured an unknown cryptid -- possibly Bigfoot -- image on film, I, of all people, would be able to find at least a mention of it somewhere online.  Especially when so much of the episode was centered on her alleged "podcasts." I say this because I already ferreted-out the better sites collecting such things a while back, and I try to stay on top of such developments because... well, this blog and shit.

I have no problem with Lost Tapes being a mockumentary; I have a problem with it being intentionally passed-off as, you know, possibly real -- maybe -- with that tongue-in-cheek, "What do you think?" intonation that's supposed to absolve them of any responsibility.

Shame on you, Animal Planet!  Shame on you for your new, twisted "M" logo, and your focus on lurid, pandering material (such as the new "animal deaths" show they promoted so heavily tonight).  If you want to get in on the cryptozoology game -- and why not, it is your cup o' tea, after all -- do what the other networks did: Throw a little money at it and actually make one!  Heck, just do what all the rest of them did to make that money: Compile a show or two from existing evidence!  Throw in a couple interviews for $20-50 a pop, and heap on some flashy, "twisted-M" computer graphics in post, and voila!

It ain't rocket surgery.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008

Sci-Fi's UFO Hunters - A Review

So, we discussed History Channel's UFO Hunters, as well as why there are two shows with the same name and why they both premiered on the same night in the same timeslot. This is the review of Sci-Fi Channel's reality show, UFO Hunters.

From the same guys that bring us Ghost Hunters, UFO Hunters is a reality show featuring NY-SPI (New York Strange Phenomena Investigators) and the cases they investigate. Dedicated to UFO sightings, Ufology, and abduction cases, NY-SPI was founded in 2006 and is based in Manhattan.

They take what they do extremely seriously and all of the members are highly-trained in other fields. They bring their knowledge of these related fields, including psychology and research, to bear on their investigations along with top-notch equipment, and the result is a truly interesting addition to Sci-Fi's growing Hunters series.

Like the other programs in the line, UFO Hunters showcases two investigations in 30-minute slots. Last nights' were interesting, though I found the whole abduction angle in the second one to be reaching (to say the very least). Of course, I am still very much on the fence when it comes to UFO abductions; I thoroughly believe some people have had genuine contact and were the victims of abduction, but I also believe investigators are far too quick to jump at such cases.

Abductions, or "close encounters of the fourth kind," are the "Holy Grail" of ufology and every time I am confronted with such a case, I cringe. Again, I honestly believe some people have had some sort of abduction experience, but I would venture to say less than 25% of those who are thought to have had such close encounters actually did. I have no way of verifying/proving this and no statistics to back me up; this is just a number I suggest - about ¹/₄ of those who claim, or are thought, to have been abducted actually have. With this in mind, I did not appreciate the latter half of the show.

There really isn't much to say about Sci-Fi's UFO Hunters. It is exactly what you think it is: Ghost Hunters with UFOs. The set-up, the premise, the production, the format, the presentation - all the same as the other programs in the Hunters line. And just like those shows, the investigators are earnest, dedicated, serious-minded, and professional - same show, different "monster."

All in all, I have to say I prefer History Channel's UFO Hunters to Sci-Fi's, but since Sci-Fi rushed this one episode out the door for legal purposes, I do not believe that it is a fair assessment. If it makes it to the airwaves on an extended basis, I will definitely be covering it, so for now, I will simply say that History Channel's UFO Hunters is more in-depth, better put-together, and simply more interesting. This one will be more popular with younger audiences and the mainstream crowd, though.

Again, temper this with the fact that I tend to dismiss 75% of all abduction claims out of hand.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008

History Channel's UFO Hunters - A Review

If you are confused by the two UFO Hunters shows, I discussed them in an earlier post. This entry reviews The History Channel's UFO Hunters, filmed under the working title, UFO Road Trip.

Last night's debut of the new, ongoing reality series, UFO Hunters, from The History Channel was pretty darned good. While the criticisms I've heard include how the foci of the show are older (and bad) actors, I did not find that distracting. It actually lent more credence to the whole thing for me; reality shows with polished performers can sometimes come across as manufactured, such as with Ghost Hunters' Live Halloween Special.

Don't get me wrong, I am not so naive as to think that reality shows are not staged, but those reality programs which are completely manufactured are pretty easy to see through (usually). The UFO Hunters just seemed a little too aware of the cameras, as well as themselves - and I noticed the same with Sci-Fi's cast, so it shouldn't be counted against them too much. I'm sure they will get better at the whole thing once they get used to it.

One of the selling-points of this series is the History Channel name and they definitely lived up to that much of it. The investigations were carried-out by professionals and were far more traditional in nature than those featured on similar investigative shows. These cats get down to the nitty-grit of microfiche, newspaper clippings, contacting living relatives, and the like. Of course, they viewed the scene of the investigation and searched for evidence there, but they were accompanied by an actual archaeologist who was also an expert on the geographical area in which they were investigating.

They did not just "troubleshoot" or "debunk" rumors and claims; they took the evidence into actual scientific labs and put them to the litmus test - literally! They did not prove anything concretely so much as lend credence to the possibilities others had forwarded; through scientific-based investigation, they showed that some of the "crazy" rumors and ideas that other investigators might have dismissed as "conspiracy theories" or "quackery" were at least theoretically valid. The criticism here could be that they worked to try and "prove" such things could be true more than they did to debunk anything, but I don't feel that way; it is simply a different approach to the matter. No matter how they went about it, there is no disputing that their investigation was scientifically-based.

And this old-fashioned detective work methodology paid-off in a big way for their investigation last night... even though they raised more questions than they answered. But, hey, that's what a good investigation should do, if nothing else!

While The History Channel's UFO Hunters might not appeal to younger viewers, it is definitely on the high-end of the scale for such reality programming. A bit slower-paced, more traditional in their approach, and far less flashy than competitors, UFO Hunters is a solid presentation. While similar groups investigate more recent cases, the UFO Hunters are dredging through older ones - cases which have received enough attention to be deemed truly "unexplained" - collecting new evidence and putting old clues together. Given the very nature of what they are doing, they stand a much better chance of uncovering some truly useful Ufological information than groups working on newer cases.

Recommended.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008

Paranormal State - A Review

Paranormal State on A&E

Tonight was the premiere of A&E's new Paranormal State -- basically another reality show along the lines of Ghost Hunters. It involves a group of ghost hunters from PA, comprising almost solely college students, who go about, helping those who believe they are experiencing the Supernatural. 

That's where the similarity to Ghost Hunters ends.

I immediately got a sense of "bullshit" when watching Paranormal State. Let's keep in mind that these are college students who all claim to have had paranormal encounters in the past -- all of them -- and not just, "I think I saw something in a graveyard once"-type encounters. These cats have full-fledged, horror movie-style encounters, replete with murderous dolls, monsters in the bedroom closet, and so forth. They all have piercings and take themselves very, very fucking seriously.

College students are melodramatic by nature. Young people with lots of piercings are melodramatic by nature. Young college students with lots of piercings who claim to have had paranormal encounters along the lines of Hollywood blockbusters are... you get where I'm going with this?

There is an all-too serious voice-over that's done in that horror movie radio voice (spooky!) and the guy actually starts off each "entry" with, "Director's log..." They even called in Lorraine Warren on one of these investigations! Seriously!

In fact, this second episode is the one I believe sets the tone for what is to follow: These black dye #1 superfans went to a house that's supposed to be haunted and cried when they found the graves of a family that was murdered there in the 19^th-Century. Then the leader of the pack got all moody and pensive and claimed he'd been dreaming about a daemon's name -- a daemon he once encountered on a case he underwent with the Catholic Church! The Daemon Who Shall Remain Unnamed.

They called in psychic, Chip Coffey, and sat around a table. Someone passed the pierced and pensive little man a note and on it was written The Name -- The Name of the Thing What Should Not Be Named -- and he got all pensive and moody, and they all almost cried again. So they called in infamous Daemonologist, Lorraine Warren, who actually brought a sense of reality to the show.

Next week, The Daemon Returns, as they go to a house and a crucifix turns upside-down of its own volition. As if that weren't enough, the man who owns the house is going to get possessed! I'm sure they'll do an exorcism.

I mean, come on -- wouldn't one of the little girls have played better as the possession victim? When does one of them spit split-pea soup?

"Over the top" doesn't begin to describe this one. I hope it gets better, but I'm not sure I can take these guys seriously. It may make for a good show, but it's kind of embarrassing to watch.

Critics of Ghost Hunters should take note: TAPS shows you how it's supposed to be done; Paranormal State is just a show.

MonsterQuest - A Review (2007)

MonsterQuest

MonsterQuest was on all night last night, and I watched all of the episodes on the first run. I noticed the one on Champ was actually a 2-hour special that also ran from Midnight to 2, but I didn't quite make it 'til then. Still, I got a good idea of the show from the four episodes I saw.

Sadly, there isn't much to report. These shows always stop just short of ever concluding anything and that really bothers me. They got some good results with the Sasquatch investigation -- technically, some very good results -- so when will they be going back to collect more evidence?

That's what I always say about these "real" scientists and researchers: They're always pulling the Holy Grail Excuse ("What scientist wouldn't want to find a [insert monster here]? It would be like The Holy Grail!"), but they collect no evidence, do no research, and refuse to follow-up on promising leads. Quit spending your time dismissing the evidence and do your fucking jobs!

Scientists... just cops with books and less common sense.

But I digress...

MonsterQuest at least went in-depth on the stories it covered but, again, if they're just going to do a surface investigation of these things -- find a feather or footprint -- then carry it back to some pedant who sits in a lab all day, studying the migratory patterns of fleas or some flimsy bullshit, then what's the point? It's just another crypto- show where nothing gets solved, no conclusions are made, and nothing promising is followed-up on.

MonsterQuest airs on History Channel Wednesdays at 8:00 (CST).

Sci-Fi Channel's Ghost Hunters, Destination Truth

Well, tonight was full of premieres on the Sci-Fi Channel -- with the season premiere of Ghost Hunters as well as the debut of a new series, Destination Truth.

I don't figure I need to say much about Ghost Hunters.  It's been proven a good, fun show -- and truly educational to anyone who has never been on a ghost hunt (a real, "professional" one).   It followed its tried-and-true formula (which isn't to say it's formulaic):

They went overseas, went dark, chatted and hunted, then did The Reveal.  Brian felt things no one else did.  But, the cool thing was that they found some evidence at both locations -- of course, this being the season premiere, that may be why this episode was shown first.  Hopefully the rest of the season will be as eventful, but like I said in an earlier post, one of the best things about this show is that they don't always find stuff.

Destination Truth was a welcome and very interesting surprise.  The host, Josh someone, really makes the show what it is: He's very passionate about what he does and he's very funny, too.  His narration is filled with pop-culture references and outright silliness, but never at the expense of the subject matter or the people with whom he is dealing.

Tonight, they traveled to New Guinea to seek proof of two uncatalogued creatures locals claim to have seen: A mermaid-like beast and what is possibly a living Iguanodon.   The most interesting thing is that they actually did uncover some evidence in the latter case!   One of the local tribes showed them bones from what is most definitely a huge animal, though it was not clear exactly what kind of animal it was.

At the end of the program, a zoologist who has been studying the local fauna and flora for decades suggested the bones might possibly belong to a saltwater crocodile, but that couldn't explain some of the other evidence they found in conjunction with the case. It also reminded me of another, possible modern-day dinosaur, which I'll get to here soon enough.

Destination Truth was a really interesting, good show, and I can't wait to see more of it!