Black Jesus Chopped to Pieces

"Black Jesus," the cult leader known for raping and killing young girls, has been killed by a machete-wielding mob. In fact, according to reports from authorities in Papua New Guinea, Black Jesus got the shit killed out of him:

Black Jesus, the self-proclaimed prophet whose real name is Steven Tani, had been imprisoned for multiple crimes (though he was only tried, and convicted, of rape) but escaped from jail last year along with over 40 other prisoners and has been on the run since then. He apparently went right back to his ways and is believed to have killed one young girl before the mob caught up to him.

At least one member of the mob claimed he was in the process of killing yet another "Flower Girl" who had been tricked into joining his cult when they chopped Black Jesus and another man into pieces. Several other men are supposed to stand trial for the murder of the young girl and other crimes related to the cult.

"Those who live by the sword, die by the sword." was the epitaph given Black Jesus by district administrator, Lawrence Pitor.

© C Harris Lynn, 2013

Google Finds God... FINALLY

Though experts doubt it will stop them from being evil, Google Street View returned a weird image of what appears to be two cloaked figures floating aimlessly over Switzerland. While many are explaining-away the "figures" as anomalies, lens flares, and even gum, others suggest they may well be God and "His only begotten Son," Jesus.

One reader posted a picture that appears to show the "figures" alongside the "decapitated" top portion of a streetlight, suggesting the entire thing was merely an error.

© C Harris Lynn, 2010

Did Jesus Survive the Crucifixion?

According to the New Testament of the Holy Bible, Jesus rose from the dead three days after He was crucified. Some believe He then moved to Kashmir, where He lived-out the remainder of His years quietly. While the grave at the Roza Bal shrine in Srinagar belongs to one Youza Asaph, a Muslim priest from the Medieval era, some believe it is the tomb of Jesus Christ.

Believers say Christ survived the Crucifixion and changed His name to Yuz Asaf, which, literally translated, is said to mean "Son of Joseph." Locals dispute the legend, saying it was forwarded by local merchants to boost tourism. And boost tourism it has: The shrine at Roza Bal has attracted so many pilgrims in the last few years that it has been closed and gated. Yet tourists are not deterred and continue to flood the small town.

The legend goes back to the 19^th-Century, and has become more popular in recent years thanks to several books, including some written by the former Director of Archives, Museums, and Archaeology of Kashmir, Dr. Fida Hassnain. The legend has become so popular, in fact, that a number of documentaries and films have been made about it, including one by the BBC. However, locals and most scholars completely dismiss the idea as nonsense. What's interesting is why:

The locals are largely Muslim and do not want the grave disturbed; scientists and others want to test the DNA of the corpse (though I don't know how that will help - do we have Jesus' DNA on file?). Further, they do not believe it is Jesus' tomb specifically because the Quran states that God lifted Christ up to Heaven... which means (logically?) that the grave could not possibly be Jesus'.

Closer to the truth is that Jesus' tomb has been claimed all over the world and no proof exists in any case, largely for the same reasons no proof has been collected at Kashmir: Believers consider them sacred places, not to be disturbed.

The other part to this legend concerns Jesus' "Missing Years" -- age 12 to 30 -- which are not covered by the Bible. It is popularly thought that He spent these years traveling, and many think he visited Tibet. Some say He met Buddha, while others say he simply learned the principles of Buddhism. There is supposed to be documented evidence of this but, again, it is inaccessible due to the resistance of the holy men who possess it (Hemis Monastery in Ladakh).

Believers say Christ also visited Kashmir during this time, looking for the lost tribes of Israelite. Some say tales and evidence found along the ancient Silk Road -- the first, major trading route in history -- fill-in that 18 year gap in Jesus' history, thus proving he was in Kashmir, however briefly, during that time.

Is Jesus Christ buried in the Roza Bal Shrine in Srinagar, Kashmir?

© C Harris Lynn, 2010

Jesus' Face Revealed?

Experts have painstakingly recreated what may be the face of Jesus, working from the controversial Shroud of Turin. The image on the Shroud was "lifted" by computer and a 3D model of the face was created. Ray Downing, president of Studio Macbeth will reveal more on the History Channel special, The Real Face of Jesus, airing next week.

Many believe the Shroud of Turin to be an elaborate hoax, perpetrated by a clever artist in Medieval times, though all attempts to duplicate it have failed. Others believe it shows the image of Jesus Christ, and was wrapped about his face after his death. Even Church officials admit there is no way to know for certain. The Shroud of Turin will be displayed to the public for the first time in 10 years, from April 10^th to May 23^rd.

Some argue that no relics related to Jesus have ever been found (suggesting that Jesus was actually a legend/mythological figure, not a real man), but that may be erroneous; the Knights Templar claimed to protect pieces of the cross, the Holy Grail, and other Christian artifacts, as did other people, organizations, and governments. In fact, everything from pieces of wood to toenails were touted as having belonged to Christ and were sold throughout the world during the Medieval period. 

Almost none of these were actually Jesus' effects, but a recent discovery on a small island off of Madeira may lend credence to some of the Knights Templars' claims.

© C Harris Lynn, 2010

Archaeological Dig Uncovers Knights Templars, Crucifixion Nail

Archaeologists believe they have uncovered a nail from the time of Christ's crucifixion -- in the possession of three men believed to have been members of the Knights Templar.  The Knights Templar are classically associated with holy relics, as finding and protecting them was one of their primary concerns as an organization.  They were featured in Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code, though that was a fictitious work.  Throughout the ages, the Knights Templar claimed to have possessed the Holy Grail, as well as other relics of Christianity.

The archaeologists found the nail in an ornate box buried with three skeletons, one of which held a sword bearing the Knights Templars' holy cross.  The fort was discovered on a tiny island off of Madeira.

© C Harris Lynn, 2010

Jesus, Son of God, Sentenced to Jail in Sweden

A Swedish court has sentenced a man claiming to be Jesus, the son of God, to 30 days in jail and fined him just over $350 for driving without license. The Swedish man was picked-up by police four times in four months in 2008 for the offense. He even tried to falsify his expired tags by using cardboard!

In the courtroom, the 46-year old defendant claimed he was Jesus, the son of God, and was therefore exempt from earthly law. He also claimed to rule the world. I do not know if his plea was ironic or if he was serious, but I do know he'll be in jail for 30 days because he did not abide by earthly driving laws.

© C Harris Lynn, 2009

Lego My Christ

A church in Sweden unveiled a 6' statue based on the popular image of Jesus Christ which parishioners had fashioned out of Lego blocks. The statue took 40 people, 18 months, and 30,000 Lego blocks to create. About 400 people showed up to the Protestant church to view the unveiling.

The statue was based on Danish sculptor, Bertel Thorvaldsen's, Christus, which is on display in Copenhagen. The outside of the statue is made entirely of white bricks, though the inner blocks are of all different colors.

© C Harris Lynn, 2009

Jayzus Spotted at Car Dealership

If Fark hadn't already done it, The OddBlog would have a Florida tag...

Floridians have spotted Jesus on the door of a car dealership salesman's office. The salesman who occupies the office, who was raised Baptist, didn't notice it until a week or so ago when someone pointed it out to him, but said he "[isn't] swapping doors with anybody."

Some described the image on the door as looking like Sasquatch, a Persian king, "Christ in a Jedi outfit," and even a caveman. "I guess everybody has their own outlook on it," said Daryl Collins, who occupies the office, "It depends on what religion you're from."

Oddly, the man who first noticed Jesus in the door is a Christer fervent church-goer who noticed it right away and likens it to the image on the Shroud of Turin. He snapped a photo and put it on his Facebook. The article used as the source for this post contains a lengthy list of other recent Jesus sightings in Florida.

© C Harris Lynn, 2009

Catholic Priest: "Jesus Was Not God"

An Australian priest has written a booklet entitled "God is Big. Real Big," in which he claims Jesus Christ was not God and Mary was not a virgin.

The booklet, on-sale in many Catholic churches for $20.00, also claims that Mary had six children, Joseph was Jesus' father, and the Resurrection never occurred. Obviously, this has sparked outrage and controversy amongst many traditional child mol Catholics.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008

Cheesus

A Missouri woman believes she has found a Cheeto which resembles the Crucifixion.

Yes, the malformed snack is in the rough shape of a T with a little bauble for a "head," but it doesn't seem to resemble much of anything, really. I've seen better images on toast.

Cheetos are fairly religious snacks, as a pastor from Texas found one in the shape of the Lord praying just a few months back.

While no one is talking Rapture, the Second Coming just might be in the bag.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008

Did Jesus Walk on Ice?

At least one scientist has suggested that Jesus might have walked on ice - what is known as "Spring's Ice" - instead of water. This report was actually made public some time ago and I meant to cover it then, but never got around to it. While it is true that (according to scientists and researchers) a cold period swept through the area around the time Jesus was said to have lived in the area, I don't know if this comes down to a matter of faith vs. science or not.

Let's face it: not everything that happens has a "logical" explanation; it just doesn't. This blog seeks to record accounts of these very things, and as we've covered before (and continue to do so), there are simply events and occurrences which we cannot explain-away. A great one are the numerous accounts of Things What Done Fell From the Sky; whirlwinds and the like do not account for these strange falls, accounts of which go back to Biblical times, and no other "scientific" explanations - no logical ones, anyway - take the place of what we know to be true: several times over the ages, strange things have fallen from the skies for no apparent reason from no apparent source.

Now, this doesn't necessarily make these things Supernatural, but how exactly do we even define that word? A lot of what we take as commonplace today would be considered Supernatural by people from earlier times, so how can we say for certain?

At any rate, while I accept that Jesus walked on water, I grant that there could have been "Spring's Ice" in the Sea of Galilee. But that would mean that Jesus was a fraud who intentionally deceived His Disciples and, eventually, billions throughout time. And I believe the rest of the accounts of His life directly dispute that.

Black Jesus Captured

What is up with all the Jesus hoopla lately? First this guy from Miami with the 666 on his arm, telling his devotees to get the same sign tattooed on their bodies, now this "black Jesus." But this cat has apparently been on the run for a few years now, thanks to accusations of sacrificial killings, cannibalism, slavery, and more.

Officials say Steven Tari killed and ate three women he had recruited as sex slaves. He fled from police two years ago and disappeared into the jungles of New Papua. He called himself the "true Christ" and promised his followers great wealth and redemption. He apparently had dozens of sex slaves.

Reports say he was captured by villagers and beaten so badly that he has been unfit to face trial.

Jesus' Tomb Found?

Director James Cameron, of Titanic fame, has a new film which claims that the tomb of Jesus has been found. Further, it claims that He and Mary Magdalene were a couple and that they had a son named Judah.

In 1980, Israeli construction workers building an apartment complex in the East Talpiot district uncovered 10 2,000 year-old ossuaries, 6 of which bore the names Mary, Matthew, Jesua son of Joseph, Mary, Jofa (Joseph, Jesus' brother), and Judah son of Jesua.

While Cameron says, "It doesn't get any bigger than this," most others say they don't believe the tomb to be that of the Biblical Christ. The names were actually common for the day and most people think Cameron and company are simply trying to sell their film. Cameron insists that DNA and other evidence backs up his claims, though.

Most authorities on the subject and related matters do not expect Christians to accept Cameron's notions, but the entire idea is sure to bring debate - hopefully healthy debate, but not likely...