Hippies Hate the Meat

According to at least one researcher, Vegans are shunning sex with carnivores and trying to make a movement out of the "preference." Vegans are scary, terrible people who insist on forcing their choices on everyone. They refuse to eat or use anything made from animals, including eggs, milk, leather products - even soap, shampoo, or conditioner. Most smell like the ass-end of a reptile and the rest are strippers.

As someone who has had sex with Vegans and vegetarians, I can safely say to carnivores, “Relax. You aren’t missing much.”